failure to thrive: a confession

Those of you who have been following me on Twitter will have no doubt gathered by now that my health has been up and down over the past several months. I’ve been devoting a lot of time and energy to figuring out what’s going on with my body and doing everything I can to help it heal itself. Because of that, this blog has fallen largely by the wayside as I redirect my focus towards taking care of my physical, mental, and emotional health.

I figure I owe it to you, my beloved, longsuffering readers, to let you in on a bit of what’s been going on in my life during these past few weeks and months.

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coconut almond chocolate chip cookies

I am going to invoke an analogy which may not make any sense (though it does seem apropos with regard to the impending Mayan apocalypse)

But.

Have you ever seen and/or listened to War of the Worlds?

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Okay, so the premise is that these virtually unstoppable space aliens invade Earth, killing people left and right, slurping up their bodily fluids for sustenance. Earth is doomed, right? WRONG. The aliens start dying off on account of not having an immunity to all the tiny microorganisms and bacteria that populate the earth. THE EARTH IS SAVED.

Stay with me.

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copycat pasta carrabba

If you’ve never been to Carrabba’s Italian Grill, you’re seriously missing out.

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If you have been to Carrabba’s and are on any sort of restricted diet, then you’re probably still missing out. This is on account of Carrabba’s menu being a veritable deathtrap for those of us who crew the Good Ship Mangled Intestines. That is to say, if copious amounts of meat, cheese, and gluten aren’t your bag, then in stepping across the Carrabba’s threshold, you’ve essentially resigned yourself to the salad menu.

And the wine menu. I guess it could be worse.

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best ever vegan & gluten-free latkes

Confession time: I’m not Jewish.

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Not remotely. In fact, my nuclear family is about as WASP as they come. So I’m not exactly sure from whence our infatuation with Hanukkah stems. Would it not mean I was resorting to stereotypes, I might speculate that it shares a common source with our love of Broadway musicals and coupon codes.

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orange clove pomander muffins

If everyone in the world were like me, stores would start playing Christmas music on the autumnal equinox and keep it up until at least President’s Day. Christmas trees would be a permanent home fixtures, and lights and decorations would stay up all year round.

Also, things like Halloween, power tools, and the RNC would probably not exist.

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